Remember Me
by Lobo10020
Summary: Three years after a fire destroys their small home town, Kaidan finally comes home. The only problem is he doesn't remember what happened before the fire. Not even the person he truly loves. Can Shepard recover Kaidan's memory or is it lost forever?
1. Chapter 1

Kaidan looked around the apartment. It was huge and brand new. Ever since the town burned down residence have been scrambling to rebuild. Unfortunately every precious memory had burned with the fire. The only thing he could remember, besides the name of the town, was that he was a teacher at the local high school. He smiled a little. This place seemed so foreign and yet so recognizable.

"Where do you want this?" came a familiar voice. The man was tall, lean and muscular. His hair was short and brown. Kaidan thought his eyes was a beautiful shade of blue. The man looked at him then removed a hand from the box he was holding to wave it in front of Kaidan's face. "Hellooooo?" Kaidan jarred from his thoughts and shook his head.

"Over there." He replied pointing to the island facing the balcony doors. The man walked over to the island and carefully placed the box on its surface. "Uh, thank you again for helping me Mr. . ."

"Shepard. John Shepard. My friends call me Mark or Shep." The man, John, responded. "It's no big deal. I like helping people new to this town." Kaidan went to the hallway and brought in another box.

"I'm not new. I've lived here for most of my life, I think." Kaidan straightened up and followed John out into the hallway to get the rest of the boxes.

"You think? You're not sure?" he asked quite curious.

"I don't remember much. Just being surrounded by flames then something heavy hitting me in the head. I woke up the next day in a hospital in the neighboring city. Said I was lucky." Kaidan cringed at the sound of his own voice. It was sad and lonely.

"I see," was the only response John could give. "That fire was years ago. Why did you wait so long to come back?"

The question took Kaidan by surprise. "I. . . I don't want to talk about it. Painful memories and such." Luckily John wasn't in a hurry to know Kaidan's past. Kaidan and John moved the rest of the boxes into Kaidan's new apartment in silence. John said his goodbyes and left Kaidan to his box sorting. Slowly Kaidan started putting things away. He started in the kitchen, putting dishes in the cupboards and towels and dish rags in the drawers.

Next was the bathroom. He began with his toothbrush and toothpaste, putting them in the medicine cabinet. Next was the towels and washrags, stacking them neatly on the shelves of the bathroom closet then shutting the door. By the time he was done the sun was setting, coloring his kitchen and living room a reddish orange hue. He sat down on one of stools his mom had given him. He was exhausted as well as hungry.

He decided after much debate to head to the local diner. He had seen it when he first arrived. If he remembered correctly it was in the same place as the old one. In between the shoe store and the sports store. He got his keys and went down stairs.

He smiled when he reached the diner. They built it _exactly _like the old one same checkerboard tile pattern, same red stools and booths, same juke box. Even the name of the diner was the same, Apollos. He entered the diner and took a seat next to the window. Soon a waitress he recognized came up to him.

"What can I get for you?" She asked. Her smile complimented her blue eyes perfectly as well as her short dark hair. Then her smile grew, her eyes widened. By god she recognized him. "Let me guess steak sandwich with extra onions and green peppers with fries and a Canadian lager?"

"Yes, please. Oh, could you bring me some A-1 sauce please?" Kaidan asked

"Of course, Kaidan. Anything for you." The waitress walked away. She recognized him and he knew it. Hell she knew his name. He tried his hardest to remember hers. It was just really difficult. He remembered going to high school with her. She transferred from Therum. He remembered sitting behind her in class, talking about how her mother wanted to destroy them all along with the principal. He couldn't remember her name though.

Finally the woman arrived with his food. "Here you go! I had James throw in some extra fries for you." Kaidan had to look at her name tag. He didn't want to but he had to.

"Thanks Liara." He said. Liara smiled.

"No problem Kaidan." She replied. Then she turned and walked away. Liara. Liara T'soni. It hit him like a ton of bricks. She worked with him at the high school as a history teacher before the fire. Why was she waitressing? The ting-ding of a bell and a chorus of 'Hey's pulled him harshly from his thoughts. He looked in the direction they came from. Sitting at the counter was John and a heavily tattooed woman. The cook came out from the kitchen to talk to them and Liara joined them.

"Don't look now but I think the new guy is checking you out." James said.

"New guy? What new guy?" Jack asked she turned her head to look behind John.

"Not you, you halfwit." James whispered. "I think he's got his eyes locked on Shepard." Shepard turned around and saw a staring Kaidan. He smiled and waved at him. In return he got a blush, a small smile and a wave back.

"He's not new. At least I don't think." Shepard stated.

"Of course he's not new. That's Kaidan Alenko." Jack retorted. With that the conversation paused. John and James looked at Jack with wide eyes. Liara nodded in silent agreement.

"Wait if that's Kaidan, then how come he didn't remember me?" Shepard asked clearly shocked.

"He remembered me." Liara countered. Shepard let his mouth hang, as did James. Shepard looked back at Kaidan for a brief second before he heard Jack repeat herself.

"I'm sorry. What?" He asked. Jack's face contorted in anger.

"I said 'Close your mouth please Michael. You are not a cod fish.'" Liara, James and Shepard looked at her for a moment before erupting in a chorus of laughter.


	2. Chapter 2

Kaidan looked them. The woman was _fuming_. She looked like she was going to snap their necks in half. She let out a small, low growl then stormed out of Apollo's. This only fueled the others already intense laughter. Eventually they quieted down and continued their soft conversation. Kaidan gave up on eavesdropping and began to eat is luke-warm meal. Occasionally he saw John look at him, and he would blush. He felt _really _bad for staring and even worse for eavesdropping. He kept his eyes on his plate as he ate.

"Do you mind if I sit here?" John asked. Kaidan looked up at him. John chuckled a bit at the sight of A-1 steak sauce dripping from the corner of Kaidan's mouth. Kaidan shook his head then gestured to the empty seat across from him. John sat his plate down then slid in. John smiled then pointed to the corner of his mouth. "You have a little something. . ." Kaidan's eyes went wide and he blushed as he took a napkin to wipe it away.

"Thank you." He said looking down. There was an intense silence between them. With a sigh Kaidan spoke. "I take it you know me?" The look in John's eyes said it all.

"I did. We went to high school together." He paused a smile slowly forming on his face. "We used to get in trouble together. One time we let my hamster out in the women's locker room. I've never seen Mr. Arterius so mad." They laughed. Once again neither one spoke. This silence was sad. Kaidan _wanting_ to remember the man in front of him. But not being able to. John remembering things that he once shared with Kaidan. Every secret. Every night. Every prank.

"You know. . ." a voice started. Both men looked up and saw that it belonged to James who was standing at their table. "I'm throwing a party. You two could come and reminisce with the others."

"Thank you for the invite Muscles but I think it would be better for me to remember on my own. It would keep people from adding false memories and what not." James looked down at Kaidan. He was a little shocked that he and not Shepard had declined his invitation.

"That's alright. I get it. You need time and space. Once you get to know the townsfolk I think your memory will hit you like a soccer ball." James smiled a little toward the end. "I gotta go." He said at last. "Ash doesn't like me hangin' around after my shift." Kaidan looked up at the clock. Ten o'clock at night.

"Oh man." He said getting up. "I didn't mean to stay this late." He threw some money on the table and turned to leave. He stopped. "By the way Muscles, the onions wasn't fully browned." He said with a smile and then exited the diner.

Kaidan opened the door to his apartment and flicked on the light. The smell of unopened cardboard boxes filled his nose. He sighed. He still had so much to unpack that it was almost unreal. He threw his keys on the counter and walked towards the bathroom. Slowly, almost tiredly, he peeled off his clothes and stepped into his shower. He ducked his head under the water once he got the temperature right. Once his hair was soaked he reached out and grabbed ahold of his favorite kind of shampoo. Suave naturals Strawberry shampoo and conditioner.

He loaded some into his hand and began to work the lather into his hair. Once he deemed it had been in there long enough he rinsed it out. He did the same thing for the conditioner. It didn't take him long to finish his shower and get dressed. After he did, he crawled in between the sheets on his bed and quickly fell asleep.

When Kaidan finally awoke he went into his kitchen and began to rummage around for some breakfast. Unfortunately he had forgotten he hadn't had time to go to the grocery store. With an irritated sigh he went back to his bedroom to get dressed. He was going to have to hit Apollo's again, much to his dismay.

The ting-ding of the bell announced his presence. The place was a little crowded. Two men sat at the counter. One was heavy set, his brown hair turning grey. The other was thin, his brown hair was slicked back but didn't quite lay down right. Both were in police uniforms. Kaidan half expected to see Liara working again, especially after he saw Muscles in the kitchen, but she was replaced with an Australian sounding brunette. He didn't see the other brunette until he sat down. Her hair was pulled into a tight bun. Both John and the woman with the tattoos were there too.

Kaidan sat down at the same booth he did last night. Trying as hard as possible to become invisible. The two police officers watched him sit then looked at John and tattoo girl. The woman got up and strolled over to him. He tensed up a little. He remembered how angry she got with just a little teasing. She didn't know him. Or that's what he thought at least.

"So you're the infamous Kaidan Alenko?" she asked. Kaidan just nodded. "My name is Jack." She held her hand out to him. Kaidan looked at her suspiciously. "Don't be such a pussy." With her encouragement Kaidan took her hand and shook. "So, did you two bang yet?" The question caused John to spit his coffee all over the diner counter, which in turn caused the two police officers to howl with laughter. Kaidan watched as the thin one pounded quite forcefully on John's back to get him to breathe.

"What the hell kind of question is that?" The big one asked.

"Oh, come on Wrex we all want to know." Jack countered.

"Uh, not me man. Once I get an image in my head, I just can't seem to get it out." Muscles called from the kitchen.

"Yeah. Please don't get _that_ image in his head. I don't think I can stand him tossing and turning from the nightmare." Said the brunette with the bun. Eventually they went off on their own tangent about how disturbing the image would be. The Australian took the opportunity to slip by unnoticed and take Kaidan's order.

"Sorry about them. What can I get you?" She asked

"Bacon breakfast burrito and coffee. Black. Please." Kaidan replied. Kaidan looked at John. He spotted Kaidan looking at him and gave a small apologetic smile and a wave. After eating his breakfast burrito Kaidan paid for his meal, and left.


	3. Chapter 3

James was shocked. That was the only way to describe it. Seeing Kaidan after all these years, left some hard feelings in him. Seeing John breaking down when they said that they hadn't found Kaidan. That his body was most likely a pile of ashes. He had cried with him that day. John had lost a lover but James had lost a friend. He sat like that for a while, his face contorted into a frown. Until Ashley pulled him away from those thoughts. She rested her book on the covers of their bed and put her hand on his shoulder.

"Hey. Are you okay?" She asked. James let out a shaky breath.

"I was just thinking about the fire." He turned to face her. "The day Anderson told him that Shepard wasn't going to see Kaidan again." Ashley was silent. "I wonder what this is doing to him? Ya know, seeing Kaidan. It can't be good." Ashley waited a few seconds, curious if James would continue. When it was obvious that he wasn't she began.

"Honestly, I haven't seen him this happy since then."

"When did you see him?" James asked

"He stopped by the house yesterday. He said that Kaidan had come home and that he looked _way_ different." She explained. James chuckled.

"Yeah, do you remember in high school when he used to be so scrawny?"

"Yeah, we used to compare him to Joker."

"He's not that way anymore." Ashley gave him a look. "He's got a pair of guns on him now." James flexed. "Not as big as mine though. He could probably take me if he fought dirty. His hair's longer to. Man, I hope he's still the same little nerd we know and love."

"James, that fire did a number on us all. He lost all of his memories and moved away. He can't be the same." She paused picking her next words very carefully. "From the way Shep describes him, there are some things intact. His personality, sense of humor, tastes. You can't fix Kaidan, James. No matter how hard you try, he's not yours to fix." She put her hand on his cheek. "The only thing you can do, the only thing _we_ can do is to support him and help John jog his memory. He'll remember in time."

James nodded. He knew that everyone in town was going to try to do something to help restore Kaidan's memory. Whether it be through pictures or stories, maybe even actions they wanted to help him. James adjusted his pillow back to a resting position and laid on his side. He was quiet for a moment.

"Tomorrow at lunch, I'll swing by Kaidan's apartment and check up on him. He could probably use my help." He said at last.

"Be sure to stop at the garage and see if Shepard, Jack and Steve want to help." Ashley replied. James smiled to himself. That wasn't such a bad idea.

James woke up the next morning feeling really _really_ pumped. It was the day that, without warning and without protest, James was going to help Kaidan out. No matter how many times he would say "I got it" or "Really, you don't have to" James was going to help. With a smile he ran down stairs and got him a bowl of cereal. He was, in a way, racing to finish. Once he was done he put the bowl in the sink and ran back upstairs to grab his uniform and jump in the shower. Once he was dressed, his teeth brushed he grabbed his car keys and practically ran out the door. Ashley watched him rush in quiet amusement.

James couldn't help that he was a protector.

James parked in his usual parking space at _Apollo's_ and jogged inside. He had just put the coffee on when Liara came in for her shift. She smiled.

"You're awfully exited today James. Is there a special occasion?" She asked her voice calm and soothing as always.

"Nah, just gonna do an old school B&amp;E at Kaidan's. Gonna help him get settled in." He replied. Liara chuckled.

"Then I shall leave you to your planning." Liara went off to get menus and silverware ready before the breakfast rush came.

Breakfast seemed to last forever. Many familiar faces came in as the town went about its usual routine. About fifteen minutes after Liara arrived, Miranda came in to begin her shift. After her were Wrex and Garrus. They had their usual. For Garrus gravy and biscuits with coffee. As for Wrex, doughnuts with a cup of black coffee. After them, Tali came in. Her hair hidden behind a purple head scarf and her face protected by a doctor's mask.

Eventually James' lunch break arrived. Though he was hungry he was too anxious to eat. He grabbed his keys and shot a look at Ashley, who only nodded, and left. He drove down the road for five minutes and then turned right. Soon he was at his destination. A faded yellow sign with red letters that spelled _Normandy Auto Repair_. He knew he was a the right place. With a mischievous smile he got out of the car and sauntered up to the door.

It was open, which wasn't unusual especially in the summer, and a familiar song drifted from the speakers inside. James immediately made a face as if he recognized the song but couldn't remember the name.

"Don't do it James." Steve warned not looking up from sorting the tool box. "You know how Shepard gets when it comes to this song."

"Ah, I'm just messin' with him Estaban. He knows that." Steve gave him a _uh-huh. Really _look. As if on que Shepard came out of the main lobby whipping off his hands on an oily old rag.

"Hey Shep." James called. Shepard stopped and looked at him with wide, almost frightened eyes. He knew what was coming. His eyes narrowed starring James down.

"Don't do it Vega." Shepard said. "I'm warning you."

"What's the name of this song again?" James asked with a small smile. Shepard's face contorted in anger.

"God damn it Vega!" He yelled slamming his fists into a black 67 Chevy Impala. "It's _Come Together_ by Godsmack."

James laughed. "That's what I thought it was." Steve and Shepard shook their heads. James knew what buttons to push and which ones not to. He just really liked the look on Shepard's face when he was angry at something but not angry enough to get into a fist fight about it.

"Is there a reason you came down here James?" Jack asked from underneath a blue green 2006 Stratus. "Or are you here just to piss Shepard off?"

"Oh, hey Jack. Didn't see ya there. Actually," James paused. Shepard noticed James lick his lips. A habit he does when he knows that what they were about to do was borderline illegal. "I was gonna go to Kaidan's place and help him unpack. You guys wanna come?" Shepard blinked a couple times and then let a huge smile cross his face.

"Hell yeah!" he replied giving James a high five. They turned to Jack and gave her a look. "Jack?"

With a sigh she gave in. "You know what? Fuck it. This might be my only chance to see if he has any new dirty little secrets." and with that she high fived James as well. Then they turned to Steve.

He was met with two almost perfect puppy dog eyes and a pair of eyes that could burn through diamonds. He caved in a second. "Fine. But I'm leaving a note so he doesn't get nervous and calls the cops. The last thing this garage needs is another visit from Urdnot Wrex. With that they piled into James's tiny car and drove off to the _Citadel Apartment Complex_.


	4. Chapter 4

Kaidan returned home to hushed whispers and boxes sliding across the floor. Quietly he walked to the broom closet and grabbed the baseball bat his father had given him for his birthday and sauntered down the hall to his bedroom. Only when he was outside the door could he make out voices.

"Damn I didn't know Kaidan could be such a fucking nerd." A woman, Jack, said.

"Hey, punta, we are here to help Kaidan unpack, not steal his shit now put that away or I will call Miri on you." Muscles replied. Kaidan was confused. They were in his house, uninvited . . . to help? Okaaayyy.

"Can you two knock it off? Before, I dunno, he comes home to find us digging through his stuff?" This voice he didn't know. Before he realized what he was doing he stepped into the doorway.

"It's a little late for that." Muscles, Jack, John and their accomplice froze. Kaidan put the bat against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest. "Care to explain?"

John rubbed his head and went to speak but Jack cut him off. "We're tired of you being cooped up in this apartment all the time and thought we'd speed the process up a little. Well James did. So if you're gonna call the cops, it was his idea." Kaidan's eyes shifted to the black man standing in front of him. He had his hands up and the look he was giving him was a 'I was pressured by _those_ guys' look.

"Who is this?" Kaidan asked not breaking eye contact.

"Steve Cortez." He replied holding out his hand. Kaidan bit his lip before returning the handshake. That's when he noticed it. There was a scar on Steve's hand. Right in the center. Carefully he ran his fingers over it. Then like a wave he remembered how he got that scar.

_It was a humid summer night. Kaidan and Steve were walking home from a late night movie . It wasn't a date, just passing the time with a friend. Steve was wearing his favorite shirt, a black tee with some old power cars,his favorite worn out jeans and his boyfriend's sports jacket decorated with an embroidered "R"_

_Kaidan was sure they were being followed. He kept glancing over his shoulder and felt like another set of eyes were on him. He began to walk faster and Steve followed. Every time they sped up so did the person following them. Steve could see the expression on Kaidan's face change to that of fear._

"Kaidan what's wrong?"_ he asked now clearly frightened._

"We're being followed."_ Kaidan replied. Suddenly they were running, but Kaidan wasn't like Mark or James. He was scrawny and could barely keep up with Tali who was constantly sick. When Steve looked over his shoulder Kaidan was on the ground, screaming. The man who was following them had ripped his shirt open and still had the knife in his hand. _

_Doing the only thing he knew to do, Steve ran and tackled the man off of his best friend. Unfortunately, doing so caused the knife to go through his hand. He struggled to keep the man down. _

"Kaidan. Run!"_ He yelled over his shoulder. Kaidan gulped and did what his friend had told him. He ran. He ran to _Apollo's.

"Someone! Anyone! Help!"_ He yelled that over and over before Ms. Sanders came and held him. _

"Hey. It's okay. You're safe now." _She said. _

_**Ave Maria Gratia plena**_

"My friend. He's hurt. You got to help him." _Kaidan was now begging._

_**Maria, Gratia plena**_

"Who is your friend? Where is he?" _Anderson asked._

_**Maria, Gratia plena**_

"Steve Cortez. He's down by Afterlife and Omega." _Kaidan was damn near hysterical at this point._

_**Ave Ave Dominus, Dominus tecum**_

"I'll take Vakarian and Shala'Ran and we'll go find him. Khalee can you take Kaidan to the station for me?"_Anderson asked._

_**Benidicta tu in mulieribus **_

"Sure. We'll go after you."_ She said. At this point Shala'Ran and Sorius, Garrus's father, were behind them and were ready to hunt. Anderson nodded. _

"Let's go. We have a predator to catch." _And with that they turned and left._

Slowly as if waking from a really bad nightmare, Kaidan found were the singing was coming from. When he realized where he was, he was on the ground in the fetal position against the wall, and he was crying. John was rubbing his arms and singing quietly. Muscles, James, was next to him. Jack was standing with her arms across her chest, and Steve had his arms wrapped protectively around his waist. Everyone of them had looks that were a mix between worry and helplessness.

"You okay?" James asked. Kaidan nodded.

"Yeah, just a bad memory." Kaidan responded. John helped him up onto his feet and then gave him a hug. Kaidan barely resisted the tears that threatened to spill again.

"It was that night again wasn't it?" Steve kept his gaze on the ground. The arms around his waist tightened. Kaidan's response was almost inaudible.

"Yeah."

"It's not your fault Kaidan." Steve stated looking up. "I could have kept running. I could have let him do to you what he did to me. I could have let him _kill_ you."

Kaidan was now completely curious.

"What exactly did you remember?" Jack asked

"I remember being stalked, Steve getting stabbed in the hand and running to _Apollo's_. After that there's nothing."

Steve looked up. His eyes filled with both shock and relief.

"Good. You don't need to know what happened afterword anyway." Kaidan, John and James looked at him with confusion and surprise. "You'd probably blame yourself, like you did back then."

"Do you want us to leave?" John asked wiping the stray tears from Kaidan's eyes. Kaidan shook his head.

"No. No, you guys wanted to help. You should help. Besides," Kaidan let a smile come to his face. It was small but it was there, "The less time I spend unpacking the more I get to spend with you guys right?" John let a smile sneak up on him, as did James. When they turned to Jack, she was already ripping into a box labeled _Underwear_.

With a victorious grin she pocketed his favorite _Doctor Who _TARDIS boxers. James went downstairs to the kitchen to cook some dinner for the volunteers and the conscripted Kaidan, While Kaidan and John finished the bedroom. Jack and Steve went downstairs to the living room and worked on it. Kaidan finally got a good look at his bedroom. Shepard and Jack had moved some of his furniture into a design that was relaxing to him. He didn't know why he found it that way but he did. The furniture was black and white as was Kaidan's lamps.

John remembered where Kaidan stored his clothes and how and worked on that while his ex put books on the bookshelf James had built.

Shepard ripped open the box of tee shirts and grabbed a hand full of hangers. Carefully he unfolded every shirt and hung them up with the front facing toward the left. He smiled as he recognized the designs on some. They weren't as faded as their older counterparts, but each one had a certain significance. There were seven in all. The first one Kaidan had wore on their first date. The Second one was their first kiss. The third the time Shepard took Kaidan's virginity. The forth one their first fight. The fifth one was their first vacation together. The sixth one was the day of the accident. The incident with Steve. The last one, Kaidan had wore on the day of the fire. The day Shepard thought he was gone for good.

Shepard wondered to himself if Kaidan had known that the shirts held significance to them both. He wondered if Kaidan remembered more than he let on. With a sigh he went to put Kaidan's jeans away. Stacking them neatly into the second drawer in his dresser. It took Kaidan a while to notice what he was doing and felt his cheeks warm when Shepard finally reached his underwear.

"Uh, I can get those." He said looking down. Shepard let out a small laugh.

"You've changed Kaidan. Never thought you'd wear these." The way he said that caused Kaidan's head to shoot up with lightning speed. The blush growing more intense when he saw Shepard holding up a pair of black boxer briefs.

"You really don't have to put those away." It was clear to John that Kaidan was acting very much like his old self, deer in the headlights. With a smirk Shepard threw the pair back into the box and walked over to the door.

"James probably has dinner ready. I'm also pretty sure that Jack and Steve are almost done with the living room. Wanna go check up on them?" With a smile Kaidan nodded. Together they walked downstairs to the kitchen where James had a nice chicken feast on the table. Jack and Steve had the living room completely furnished in a way that Kaidan was entirely comfortable with. The tan sofa was in nice contrast to the red wood floor. The TV turned at a relaxing angle for the group to gather round and watch some football or hockey. The fireplace was neatly organized with photos of Kaidan's family and his sugar cookie scented candles in perfect symmetry.

"Come on amigos, pendejo, food's done." James said after Kaidan got a good look at his living room. Slowly they moved to Kaidan's dinning table and sat. Kaidan took a chair near the middle. Both Steve and John took advantage of this and planted themselves on either side of him. Jack and James sat across from them. Soon laughter and light banter filled the room. Everyone knew Kaidan was going to go through a hard time. He needed to remember the good times, but at the same time the bad times just couldn't stay away.


End file.
